A friend once told me “I’m pretty sure what your looking for isn’t real” during a conversation about boys. Well she was wrong. He’s very much real. I found him,and I’m pretty sure he has no interest in me.
I’ve been spending a lot of time in prayer these last few days. First time in years im letting god take over. He showed me how I need to content with what i have. Not be well if this person was my friend or if i had a boyfriend things would be better. I’ve been at peace and enjoying the moments and good things that comes with it.
Last night right before winchester it hit me. Anxiety, paranoia fear. “They’re only being my friend cuz they feel sorry” or “they don’t care” they think I’m an idiot. “I shouldn’t go!” The heavyness on my chest felt like two tons hurt and sadness. All at once. I still went had a wonderful time.
I told myself to just keep on loving and caring for people even if this would happen. I’ll continue to persue a relationship with everyone that god puts in my path.
God has giving me such incredible people in my life I am going to try my hardest to love and learn from them as much as I can. I will do my best not to lay in bed and feel sorry for myself like I have these last few years. I am sorry to those I hurt while this happened.
Lesson learned god. Thanks for the reminder of your love this week and the bare bottom spank that I’m sure a lot of us needed.
A little of my hopes and dreams will die with the festival.
“You’re soo independent” “I’m soo proud” blah blah blah!
You don’t even understand how incredibly lonely life is turning out to be.
It’s nice to hear someone having the same dreams as me…. Sad for me I’m not able to express it to them…gives me hope but I lose it at the same time.
Photo with 3 notes
I have soo many. I think I’d be able to post a pic a day for a year or more lol… Or should I say :/. This was in MI last year
Photo with 6 notes
With all this mewithoutyou-ness I felt like posting a photo from the palatine show
….photography really is, not just a static visual art. The photography is merely the awareness, crystallized for others to see.
As cheesy as that heading, I do feel different today then yesterday….still feel the need for change. I will making an effort to get my mt licence this summer something’s gotta give….
Dear life, Sometimes you throw some pretty awful stuff us, so can u please be nicer next time? I don’t like seeing my loved ones in soo much pain in the emotional way. I truely believed I had lost my empathy clearly I was mistaken it was just misplaced. Okies see ya later! Love Me
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